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[29 Apr 2005|08:41pm] |
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This livejournal will take a break until I have something interesting to say. Honestly, most of my creative juices are going into other formats and I'm kind of bored writing here. I'm not the type to write day by day accounts of doldrums, or post obscure song lyrics and snippets of poetry (tho I've done both before) so I figure until I really have something good to say, this thing is going on hiatus.
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[26 Apr 2005|12:16pm] |
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I have finals next week. Oh joy. Get there.
Hi my name is Krisann and I say for sure, dude, seriously, and totally way too much.
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[17 Apr 2005|11:33pm] |
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I need to re-learn how to love myself again.
I think I can... I just don't understand how I lost that.
On another note, oral arguments were not bad. It was actually a really good experience, and they asked me to try out for the moot court team. I would have considered it, if speaking in front of audiences didn't make me want to cry, choke, or throw up.
Word of the day
pettifogger \PET-ee-fog-ur\, noun:
1. A petty, unscrupulous lawyer; a shyster.
2. A person who quibbles over trivia.
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[12 Apr 2005|11:39am] |
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dear livejournal,
im sorry ive been neglecting you lately.
your friend,
kris
------------------------------
havent updated in awhile..
but heres whats been going on:
.x. got sick with tonsillitis
.x. didn't eat for a week
.x. recovered from tonsillitis
.x. had cake and hot chocolate w/ robyn
.x. ripped my favorite pair of jeans cos im fat
.x. didn't see lisa [+ her emo glasses]
.x. have oral arguments tomorrow [scary]
.x. have exactly 30 more days of school left
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hey life,
for fucks sake, get on with it already!
your friend,
kris
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[14 Mar 2005|12:50pm] |
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i forgot to mention that i went to the moving units show and it was fabulous. thanks lis!
the moving units ♥
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[13 Mar 2005|10:27pm] |
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music |
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the beatles - rubber soul |
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the beatles are so damn good. i could probably survive the rest of my life listening to only them. just ridiculous. popular, experimental, grounded in their roots, intelligent, everything.
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[06 Mar 2005|03:12pm] |
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it is never true... ever...
... that lying to someone can ever make things better.
that being said...
... i need to find a way out of this false world i live in that seems to think honesty is a good way to go about things.
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[04 Mar 2005|06:41pm] |
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music |
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kings of leon |
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Sometimes I find it's very difficult for me to enjoy the company of other people.
Sometimes it feels like there are too many people who are too concerned with appeasing and accepting each other... that they're willing to compromise who they are.
It's likely it's some sort of contradiction I have yet to put my finger on... so this lamentation over the suicide of personality that happens on a massive scale all around me is probably moot and I should move on and apply my energies elsewhere.
But it's seriously disappointing... and feels so very hopeless it makes any alternative that involves as little group interactions as possible... damn appealing.
Something almost makes me feel like this is not a healthy path. And yet none of the others that I can see strike me as any more worth my time.
Where's the fucking handbook?
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[27 Feb 2005|11:43pm] |
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music |
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kaiser chiefs - i predict a riot |
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I think a lot of people enjoy being unhappy. Like the Modest Mouse CD. Good news for people who love bad news. At first I took this very literally. Now I think that it means - people who like bad news are getting bad news, and that’s what the good news is. Regardless, it’s very clever. Also, I am remembering the Nirvana line from Frances Farmer will have his revenge on Seattle (a very underrated song), where Cobain sings "I miss the comfort in feeling sad." We all want something to mope and cry about.
I want some pancakes.
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| Lisa wants me to update. So this is her fault. |
[25 Feb 2005|05:01pm] |
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Would you rather be prolificly gifted or a one-time genius? Like say...Michael Crichton or Harper Lee. I think I would chose Harper, but then, wouldn't your whole life be compared to that one thing you did, or wrote to change the world. I mean, it'd all be a letdown from there. So now I’m not so sure.
I got offered a position w/the DA. What am I doing with my LIFE! On 'Seinfeld' the other day, Jerry and George are talking about how they’re not men but little boys. The episode ends with George and Susan cuddling and watching ‘Mad About You.’ It’s great. Anyways...I think everyone worries too much about personal achievements, personal progress. Are you happy? Are you content? What the hell am I trying to say. Everyone wants to measure where and who they are. You can’t. You can’t do it. I’ve become a much better person in some ways since I’ve gone to law school and much worse in other ways. And I’ve stayed remarkably the same. And I try too hard to please other people, and I don’t try hard enough to make friends. And I care too much about school, and not enough. I don’t know what to do with myself. Would personal achievements, success, money, would that make me happy? I doubt it. This a rambling nonsensical mess. All I’m saying is I’m sad that I’ll never be content with myself and I’m happy I’ll never be content with myself. Actually that isn’t all I’m trying to say, but it seems a good place to end.
Sometimes I would just love to be able to hit myself, just fyi.
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[19 Feb 2005|04:07pm] |
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music |
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longview - when you sleep |
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I feel like putting this quote from Fight Club up:
You met me at a very strange time in my life.
To be honest I think that every moment in life is pretty fucking strange. I've spent my entire life trying to act and grow and be older and now I'm in this weird inbetween stage where I don't know how to feel and soon I'll be wondering where the glory days went, living vicariously through others what I didn't do myself.
I finally threw away my old UCSD notebooks. I was looking through some of my notes on this one class discussion about rewriting history. It was about how Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich and a bunch of other people basically forced the Smithsonian not to show any part of the effects of the Hiroshima bombing in their exhibit on the Enola Gay, the plane that dropped the bomb. It is strange how strongly I feel about stuff like this and yet, I can't make the right words, my professor basically said everything I was thinking and then some about it. He asked us if we would want our children to learn history critically or to be taught "the truth." Basically he said that there is no one truth to anything in history, all you can teach are objective facts. The museum can show the nice shiny plane that helped America win the war but its also got to show the melted childrens lunchbox from the city. When you fall into the trap of thinking you know exactly what it was, you actually know very little. He was much more eloquent than that, but anyways, it made me think a lot about how history is written.
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[18 Feb 2005|04:38pm] |
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So I think that trust and respect are the foundations of any healthy relationship, be it friendship or otherwise. I feel like a lot of people just don't follow through with things that they say they are going to do...and that really bothers me a lot. When it really boils down to it, your word is really the only thing you have. You don't have to say "I promise" or something stupid like that to me to make me think that you are going to do whatever you said you were going to. If you tell me you are going to do something, then do it. What is so hard about that? If you aren't going to do it, then don't LIE to me. Lying is probably the biggest problem that I have with people. Seriously, why waste your breath and get me annoyed with you if you aren't gonna do it? What's the point? If I were someone's boss and they lied to me about something, I would fire them on the spot as soon as I found out. There are some people that always tell me they are going to do stuff, and before they are even done saying whatever it is they are saying, I'm thinking "yeah right." and I'm not thinking that because I'm a horrible person, its because over the time that I have known them them they have demonstrated to me that you can't count on them for anything. It seems like they are just saying what you want to hear...but the irony is that I know that they are just saying it for that reason, and that isn't what I want to hear at all.
I feel like a lot of people are just way too selfish. And don't get me wrong, I'm selfish too, but...there are some things that I just don't get about a lot of people I guess.
I'm not going to go into the respect thing.
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[15 Feb 2005|11:51am] |
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music |
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bright eyes - fevers & mirrors |
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hope ya'll had a happy vday.
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| procrastination kills |
[12 Feb 2005|05:40pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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thelonious monk |
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I watched Eternal Sunshine the whole way through for the first time with my mom. I liked it a lot. The editing was incredible, the shots were impressive, the idea was interesting (although a little depressing). However, I just felt like something was missing. It never quite clicked, and I never thought "I love this movie." But I did think it was good. I like Charlie Kaufmann as a writer.
While at Blockbuster, I noticed Papparazzi, a newish movie that Mel Gibson produced. The tagline is something along the lines of "They messed with his family. That was a mistake." So here he is, the face of The Passion, the movie that rekindled 'new christianity' and shit and yet here he is making another movie about vengeance. There was Braveheart which is basically just that, with the bullshit about his freedom, and then there's Payback, which I never saw but I'm assuming from the name is fairly self-explanatory. My point is, isn't revenge like the least Christian of values, wasn't Christ supposed to be all about forgiveness and allowing people to redeem themselves? I'm sorry but the way he talked about The Passion like God intended for him to make that movie, but all his other movies are diametrically opposed to it. Maybe I am reading into this a bit too much.
I've always liked the Jack Johnson line..."in the long run we have found, silent films are full of sound." I think silence says a lot. In music and in writing a lot of times its what is not said or played that is important. For example, listen to "Straight, No Chaser" by Thelonious Monk. His piano solo is so strange and cool and random pauses and everything. It also reminds me of a famous quote, some vj on mtv asked Bill Clinton who his favorite musician was/is. He said Thelonious Monk. They replied, "Who is "the loneliest monk?" Real music afficionados they have on the channel. I hate that fucking channel.
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[02 Feb 2005|03:47pm] |
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music |
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elliott smith - needle in the hay |
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At the library... Can't concentrate on this LRW transcript... Don't want to take midterms... Really REALLY don't want to write the 12-15 pg. closed trial brief...
Today is February 2nd. Is it too early to start thinking about summer? In Property today I was daydreaming about how I plan to be blissfully lazy the entire summer.
I want to lounge by the pool and read all the interesting articles that I should have read this year but that I, at the time, had neither the time nor the desire to read. I want to lay in the warm sand and soak up the last bit of sunlight before it sets into the ocean and the pelicans come out to dive for their dinners. I want to blast "Sweet Child of Mine" and "Disconnected" and "I Wanna Be Sedated" the second I wake up in the morning and dance in my underwear as I get ready for the day. I want to get in my car, roll the windows down, blast music and sing at the top of my lungs as I drive to San Diego or LA or the Bay. I want to spend warm summer nights talking outdoors until the early hours of the morning. I want to find a job. I want to read the newspaper everyday. I want to read all the articles on alternet.org.
I want to spend lots and lots of time w/Michelle, who I never see anymore despite the fact that she lives 30 seconds away. I want to spend time - good time - w/Lisa before she begins her own adventure and her own life at law school. I want to watch tv w/Lara because it just isn't the same without the "It's on it's on it's on!" call. I want to visit Sanam because it isn't fair that I only get to see my favorite person in the world once a year. I want to spend time w/my family without wanting to shoot myself in the face. I want a lot of things.
Three more months.
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[31 Jan 2005|03:24pm] |
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music |
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the shore - hard road |
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The Shore? Last Saturday night? House of Blues?
Awesome. Hello boys.
John gave us shirts and stickers because he is a bad businessman and we love him.
Wouldn’t it be great if I was a good singer? god? hello?
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| radiohead helps me get through life |
[26 Jan 2005|03:50pm] |
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music |
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radiohead - cinnamon girl |
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I may be weird, but I like to rub my little clicky eraser's eraser on my face in class sometimes. That sounds a lot weirder than it is. I mean more like I just have it against my face sometimes. I also do that with the eraser end of my doctor grip pencil, the cold smooth metal I believe feels cool. Anyway, the other day there was a horrible mix up which resulted in me stabbing myself in the face with my pencil. Good thing we use graphite nowadays, I could have died from lead poisoning. Anyway that's the story.
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[20 Jan 2005|04:41pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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razorlight - golden touch |
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Six classes are killing me. If I could sum up how this semester is going to be, it would go something like this:
I fought the law (and the law won).
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[19 Jan 2005|12:35pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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jimmy eat world - table for glasses |
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Ummm yeah...so I've been super busy and haven't really had time to reflect on how depressing my life is...cuz to tell you the truth, it really isn't all that bad.
I am in a content mood right now. I really like the weather. Remember when I said that I thought I could control the weather? Well, here's another example. Perfect.
Myspace is such a trip. The way people misrepresent themselves is really entertaining. It’s funny when people describe themselves in certain ways that are so blatantly wrong it could be a comical movie or perhaps a cartoon strip. Here's a good Jack Johnson lyric byte:
"but everybody thinks that everybody knows
about everybody else
but nobody knows anything about themselves
cause they're all worried about everybody else"
So, on another note...I think it is hilarious watching dudes check out chicks...I mean they are sooo obvious about it. Yesterday for example, Jess can back me up on this one, we were sitting in class and this dude was sitting in front of Jess with no one sitting right next to him. And I am sitting right next to the wall so there is no reason for him to be looking in that direction unless he is trying to catch a glance at the wall or something. He would do this like half look thing, and then...I still can't believe this, he does this like stretch move, turns himself around looks at me and then continues to stretch farther to see Jess...haha I was shocked, it was hilarious....and he still continued to be obvious about looking at us...I'm not sure of the reasoning for this, or what his strategy might have been. Boys if you have any insight I would love to hear it. Anyway, it was great...almost as great as when you are on the freeway and you have some dude speeding past you, sees you, slams on his breaks and fully turns around to look at you one more time...I really am at a loss here...hilarious!
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